even more about jeans

I’m trying to work out how people who work normal jobs get through Friday afternoons when they don’t have patients to hang out with. What do they do? How do they pretend to be productive? Surely nobody actually works, do they? I can’t understand how that could be possible…

I, of course, am sitting here, typing a blog, and pondering the mysteries of life. I had a surprisingly productive morning (I sat outside with my reading materials and my ipod, and managed to function remarkably well!) but the afternoon has been all downhill, and there’s still 1 hour 10 minutes to go. I was intending to build up time this week and have an early mark today, but I was sick one day, and had no sick leave built up, and had to make up the damn time, which means doing a full day on a Friday, which upsets me greatly.

I’m contemplating walking across the road and buying myself the jeans I’ve been eyeing off for two days. They’re on a 25% off sale – why am I even questioning this decision? Crazy! I’ll go after work maybe. We’ll see. Indecisive today.

What is it about me and jeans at the moment?

more thoughts on fashion

I’ve been thinking more about jeans in the last few days (primarily because I think I need a new pair, that fit well and look good and are comfortable and don’t fall off, and don’t have pretend faded patches everywhere, and that are the same length as my legs and don’t cost a fortune, and won’t stretch out of shape in the first wear) and I realized – I’m getting a little too old for some of the silly fashionable things now. Diamonte pocket pictures, and the like. I was reading an article recently about these 30 somethings that refuse to grow up, and keep dressing and acting like teenagers, and I wondered, am I becoming one of them? (I’m not actually in my 30s yet, but I’m fretting in advance, just getting in early to make sure I’m prepared).

What distinguishes a 30 something who enjoys life and is playful and joyous and accepting of their age, but refusing to settle down and conform to societal norms… and the 30 something that can’t see that they’re not 15 anymore, and kids are laughing at in the street.

Why do I even care? How many years has it been since I gave a damn about what a teenager thought of me? (other than the one or two teenagers I actually consider friends, who are the last people who would judge someone for wearing something that was “too young”). Where does teen fashion stop and adult fashion begin?

One of the examples in the article was a 15 year old laughing because the mother of one of her classmates wore tights and short shorts to pick her daughter up from school, and at the time I thought “yeah, that’s wrong” but seriously, what on earth am I talking about? If she thinks that’s funky and comfortable, there’s no reason she shouldn’t be wearing it. The whole idea is ridiculous.

So my final thoughts on the subject – wear whatever the hell you like. I don’t care – knock yourself out. If you’re comfortable, and you think you look good, yay for you. Oh, but if any of my beautiful friends happen to ever see me wearing jeans with diamontes on the pockets, please kick me, HARD. Not because I’m too old for them, but because they’re simply bloody awful!

Still yours in fashion,

Liv

when fashion really goes wrong

yesterday, innocently crossing a road, i met with such a tragedy of fashion as i have never seen, and thought it important to share with the world.

i understand the deliberately bleached and faded jeans thing. i still disagree with it on principle, but i get it, ok. right. but this went too far - a pair of dark denim jeans (originally) which had been faded so much on the thighs and shins that they looked nearly white, except for a patch around the crotch, where obviously they'd thought "oh, no, we'll leave that dark". what do you think a dark patch around the crotch makes one think?

that's one fashion statement i'll never understand.

a much awaited update

so, apparently some people are still checking this blog, and complaining that there are no updates (yes, we stopped travelling... we live in different states now...) but maybe it's time for an update.

Liz is now working 4 jobs and seems to have made herself indispesible in the Jabiru community. Liv is doing temp work, and complaining about having no money, however she's allowed to surf the net and knit at work, so nobody listens to her.

all is well in both worlds, when looked at through a grand, we're not dying of whooping cough frame of reference. Liv currently has the company of two baby dragons (axolotls) and seems to be collecting plants. Liz spends a lot of time not working because of storms, and not being able to get to darwin because of storms, and having her camera fog up because of storms.

all is well everywhere. in the world. pure fabulousness.

more updates to come as Liv realises she's lost the ability to speak in coherent sentences through having to sit at a desk with absolutely no work to do.

Paddys Day 2007

soooo many green people in one place!

what a fun night. liv finally made it to the sunnie coast to see the barleyshakes play for St Patrick's day - and luckily a great big crew of people just happened to be there with us - particularly special was seeing evi, and meeting simon and felicia.

there are a great many stories from this night that won't be going on here at this point, but it was a night of fun, laughs, shooting stars, and emotional development for many of us.

what a strange crowd though! the gig was at the Sol Bar in Coolum, and the crowd were an interesting mix of people who'd come out to celebrate paddys in green style, and teenyboppers in stilettos they didn't know how to walk in, sexy dancing and trying to pick up.

at one point, i was dancing away, as i do, with my eyes closed, and evi told me some bloke was trying to sexy dance with me, and i didn't even know he was there, so he gave up. i was just enjoying myself! yuk. not into the whole picking up randoms in pubs thing. ew.

anyway, one night stretched to a whole weekend - went to peregian originals (dad was very impressed when i called to tell him there was a band there called veteran rex, and made me take photos, which were pretty unexciting) and we all went for dinner and listened to ben play covers in a cafe thing in noosa - which he was pretty unimpressed about i think. i've never seen a performer look so bored! he was even rolling his eyes at me at one point - you could at least pretend to be enthusiastic ben! really.

anyway, the whole thing was heaps of fun. note evi's fantastic artwork - she created amazing designs on us all in body paint.

The Adventure of Liz and Liv Part One - Final Chapter

Monday 12 March 2007 - 3pm

On the bus, on the way back from Port Fairy Folk Festival. 8 of us this time - Kate, Keir, Scotty, Sallie, Steve, Clare, Liz and Liv. 5 in the band, and 3 merch bitches. yup, 3. excessive? well, we sold 300 cds after the first gig...

madness. doing merch in an environment like this is like being encompassed in a little love circle, with everyone raving about how wonderful everything is. on the other hand, it's total chaos.

this year, we all stayed in a house together (8 people, 1 bathroom...) which was awesome - well, except for the fact that it was a million miles out of town, but we had our own little free taxi service. performers' perks.

this trip was a bit of a last blast for us, because liz moves to the northern territory in a couple of days, and liv will be staying at ocean shores till the end of june, then who knows?!

there's a poor unfortunate creature at the front of the bus with motion sickness, so we've had to stop for her to throw up. that would suck. luckily for all, keir came to the rescue with wet ones, and saved the day, in his usual understated style.

the lowlight of this year's festival was the food - appalling! ichy. i didn't seem to matter where we ate, it all seemed a bit tasteless - except for the fruit stand, which was liv's saviour.

this weekend we launched frankie walnut's debut ep - highly recommended, check kate's site or transport's site (links on left). "where have i been all your life" is an absolute cracker - a definite festival highlight was watching the sound crews and stage managers pissing themselves to that.

here's a tast little tidbit:
"i just won $15 on keno
wouldn't it be nice
it would really cap the evening off
if i could get into your tights"

given the lack of available steak at the fest, liz had to console herself by drinking guiness - purely for the medicinal properties, of course. liv also realised that a fruit diet is sadly lacking in iron, and also deigned to have a few pints during the festival. luckily it was on tap, which always adds to the flavour. there's only one bar at the festival, but it's massive, and we mean HUGE! it's bigger than most of the stages.

we met some amazing people there - you know who you are - and getting to hang out with clare after such a long time was a real treat. frankly, not counting the food, the weekend was faultless.

but all that aside, what else has been happening in the world of liz and liv?
liz recently finished her work in maleny, and has been celebrating her unemployment ever since. she's about to embark on a 10 day road trip from the glasshouse mountains to darwin in her 1992 holden vp commodore (bommodore) with her newly returned home sister (as regular readers know, sarah has been in england - check the links for her exploits).

liz will be working until the end of 2007 in Jabiru, hopefully as a tour guide. expect to see liz's triumphant return to woodford 2007 - 08.

liv will be working in lismore, and house sitting for her family until the end of june, then who knows? liv is thoroughly enjoying not knowing, and is convinced the right path will show itself in the near future. she suspects it may already be starting to...



we're now flying back to brisbane. the festival has drawn to an end.

it seems an impossible task to try to summarise the experiences of the last 15 months, so we're just not even going to try, except to say we are both completely different people at the end of this journey than at the beginning. hell, we even look totally different, as liv has just noticed, reading back through the blog.

this will be the final entry in this part of the adventures of liz and liv, but never fear! we both intend to continue posting from out different locations, to keep our fans up-to-date with our extravanagt, exceptional, excruciating, excellent adventures. we love you one and all, and than you for the joy you've brought to us.

In future adventures:

* liz and liv become professional certified merch bitches! (actually that's true)

* liv does a Cert I in Communication at Batman TAFE (seriously considering it)

* liz becomes a professional food taster (she may as well be making money out of it)

* liz and liv's photos go international! (also true - see transport promo shots)

* liv's hobbit fetish blossoms into a full-blown obsession, and she moves to new zealand

* liz buys a combi van, fills it with paints, and drives around tasmania teaching underpriveleged children to fingerpaint

* liz and liv hire an articulated vehicle for the next leg of their journey - either that or buy the yellow school bus and fit it out with a brown couch, microwave and spa bath!

* liv takes a vow of silence

* liz also takes a vow of silence, but only lasts a few hours, till she goes to a cafe, sees someone with food, and asks if she can have a bite

* liv, inspired by kate miller-heidke, ange gabrielle, and melanie adams begins studying opera, then realises she accidentally broke her silence vow, and gives up on both

* transport, emma dean, me, the barleyshakes and kate miller-heidke all become ridiculously world famous and take liz and liv on extensive international tours

* tiaras reappear on the catwalks - liz and liv are universally renowned as the instigators of this trend

* liz and liv stop talking bollocks (yeah right..)



The flight is nearly over. the champagne has run dry (and gone to our heads). the 15 month festival has come to an end, and we are ready to face a new beginning.

we look forward to sharing it with you all.

with all the love we can possibly give (which is a whole lotta love...)


Liz and Liv

Kisses!

Le Phat

9 January 2007 - 4:27pm

funny the way things happen at just the right time.

when you think you want company, to take your mind off things, nobody is around anywhere. when you're dwelling, and need a bread from yourself, you find the boys from Le Phat eating chips in a park, just metres from where you had lunch in the same park about an hour before.

well, that was my day today, so far at least. i came here to escape the craziness, and found 3 total nutters to hang out with.

a couple of weeks ago i was totally losing faith in my instincts. my truse in the universe was wearing thin as one of these leg hairs i really need to get waxed (i think i've been in byron too long already...)

sometimes it's easier to just eliminate the things you DON'T want than to work out what might actually be a good idea.

isn't it easy to work out good ideas for what other people should do? solving the rest of the world's problems in a vain attempt to make your own seem just that little bit more insignificant.

i've been on the receiving end of that lately. i don't think i quite realised i had so many dreadful issues that need to be dealt with IMMEDIATELY!!!

hmmn... writing's not heloing today. i'm off to dance this out instead.

January 2007

8 January 2007 - 3:04pm

A new beginning.

The first page of a new journal. This is the end of a chapter and it brings on an unfamiliar experience.

i'm so used to having a path, and knowing where i'm going - things have been so clear to me for a long time.

right now, absolutely nothing is settled and certain. i'm saying goodbye to a large part of my life, and trying to work out what's next.

i guess most travellers experience this sense of displacement at some point - the feeling that you've changes so much that your old life just doesn't fit anymore - like a pair of pants you used to wear in school, but now the cuffs don't reach your ankles, and the zipper won't do up, and you suddenly realise they're fluro orange and covered in daisies, and they're made of parachute material - and for the life of you, you just can't work out what on earth you saw in them in the first place.

i know this sense of dissatisfaction is a good thing, because it will prevent me from becoming stagnant.

i don't know where to begin to start summarising this past year, so instead, for now, i'm looking to the future - preparing the for the adventures to come.

The Barleyshakes

Alan Kelly will herefore forever after always be known as "pants man" in honour of this outfit (we're creating a whole outfit - erin is kilt man, and ben is hat man. just need shirt man and shoes man, and we're right. as you've probably guessed, these pics are of the barleyshakes - belinda, we LOOOOOVE that top you're wearing. hot, baby!

just for the record, joe (in the police cap) doesn't always look like that, but i'm shamed to admit i actually quite like that look. sure he looks like a stripper....

hanging at the festival

this is how we got around the festival! after the last gig, liz, kate, steve and i were all riding on it with the gear, and the people around us were going faster than the cart - and staring at us, and whispering! what a weird experience. liz and i became rock stars by association. note the hot kate shirts - the shot of the liv, liz and clare is from the first gig - we needed 3 tiara-wearing merch bitches to cope with the rush. kate's mum came and helped too - answering questions and stuff, so there were four of us hanging in our new kate singlets. v. comfy - highly recommended. didn't sell a lot though at the fest, given most of the time we were all wearing multiple jumpers...

also note shot of our new friend ben - apparently a kickarse guitarist, although we haven't heard him play live yet. missed all the gong show stuff doing photo shoots and gigs and drinking beer (we had our priorities straight...)

kate miller-heidke - yes, more shots of her. yes, we do have other friends, it's just that she's so damn gorgeous, it's easy to take pics of her.

it's just so hard not to want to photograph kate in her singing glory - especially when the lighting was so good.

i love the shot where the light of heaven is shining down on her head * and the crowd shot - 2500 people apparently were at kate's first gig




*please note - light in photo may not be actual light of heaven.

transport photo shoot

right. so i know you're all desperate to see the transport promo shots, so we're putting a little sneak preview here.

scotty seemed to take to the whole makeup thing a little too easily, while steve appeared positively freaked out by it all, and keir kept smudging his mascara (hence the pic of liz fixing it).

liz and i had a ball taking these shots (liz was style director) and we got a sneak preview of the new transport album - kicks arse, man. loving the version of this infidelity!

if the promoters are happy with these shots, they'll be used for transport's US, UK, and Canada tour in a couple of months. we'll be like so like internationally famous and stuff, like yeah!

please remember not to take the L.J. Hooker shot seriously - we love it, but they just look so much like a boy band

oh the other important thing to know - the shot where keir's putting his fingers into the other guys' ears - that pain on scotty's face is real - keir asked liv to count down the shot, then stuck his fingers in the others' ears to get a cool realistic shot. we love you, keir, but don't ever stand next to us in a photo, pleeeeease!

Life at Port Fairy Folk Festival.

Most of you would know by now that Liz and Liv have just spent 4 days at port fairy with kate miller-heidke and her band, so we thought we'd show the world a little of what it's like to be on the road.

the first shot here is a game keir found, and everyone fell in love with, expect Liv, who knows absolutely nothing about geography. live knows where australia, new zealand and ghana are, and that's about it. seriously.

the other shot is sallie and liz chilling out the back, waiting for the bus to arrive to take us to a gig. unfortunately we didn't get any shots of us playing quick scrabble (i still think i was robbed) but you get the idea.

coming home

12 November 2006 1:15pm (NSW time)

Coming home.
Nothing has changed, and everything has changed.

The Rev is now a dance venue. They painted it grey, and now they only have djs.

Fat Boys have changed their menu, and now no longer have my favourite 2 items on there. however, they now do cheese platters, hence are partially absolved.

Zomba no longer exists - but there is quite a nice mural painted on the wall where it used to be.

Liv's old house has been overrun by bachelors - the bathroom shower now has no nozzle. Odd.

Urban Grind still make a damn good coffee.

Chris almost had a "same" stamp, but he's about to be a published author, so i'm afraid i'm going to have to stamp him "different"

The valley markets are still exactly the same (phew! think the world would end otherwise...)

indro is still chaos

so is the mall

but we're different. we hang out in the same places, but the combinations of people are different. oddly, after being away, it's more comfortable hanging out wherever.

if travelling shows you who your true friends are, we have a lot of true friends - but things are still strange. makes me wonder how long this amazing fairy land existence we've had can continue - will we suddenly all realise we're getting old and grow up (aargh! i certainly hope not!)

it feels so much like home - and it feels so fragile.

The trip home 2

4 November 2006 11:10am

We've just passed about half a dozen signs to a place called Terry Hie Hie.

We've been getting heaps of messages and phonecalls from people saying they're coming to our welcome home party. We're really going home!

The rules for the driving music for the trip:

* nothing sad
* nothing by the people we have just said goodbye to
* nothing sad
* primarily singalong songs
* nothing slow (so we don't sleep)
* nothing hypnotic
* nothing sad

Fortunately this means we're listening to such classics as "marvellous" by the 12th man, "be my baby" by the Teen Queens, and "ghost of a texas ladies man" by concrete blonde.

Ah, what a marvellous day.

12:20pm

well, we have our priorities straight. we've just made a 50 minute detour to visit our favourite organic winery (Wright Robinson) outside Glen Innes (on the road to armidale).

we bought a case of wine and 2 bottles of port. as a resule, the floor of the passenger seat is now entirely filled with wine, and i'm having to sit in come crazy yoga positions. luckily, i'm freakishly flexible, and this doesn't pose a problem. liz, however, is freakishly inflexible. she may have a problem.

when we do yoga classes, i twist my body into all the craziest postures and go "am i supposed to feel something?" while Liz just scowls at me, and says "bitch" - which i think is very un-yoga-like, and probably means she has, like, 8 or 9 years of bad karmic debt to work off. (in liz's defence, she can balance for hours on three toes, with her other foot in the air, whilst eating paw paw, and painting her fingernails - i fall over if i'm standing on 2 feet and a butterfly brushes past. we all have our strengths...

does anyone out there know how many bad karma points i get for boasting about my flexibility?

anyway, poor liz! when she's a passenger, she's really going to suffer. the things we do for good (and very cheap) wine and port!

Note - towards the afternoon, liz was volunteering to drive a lot... didn't bother liv, she sits in odd positions even when there's not wine on the floor, so everyone (except probably liz, who had to do most of the driving) was happy.

12:45pm - my personal favourite place name: Bald Nob (between glen innes and tenterfield) - closely seconded by Iron Nob (SA, near Port Pirie).

Seriously, I love this country!

The trip home 1

31 November 2006 8:20am

Australians really take pride in giving things amusing names. We've just passed over Gobbagombalin Bridge, Wagga Wagga.

I mean, really.

Sure, I'm positive there's some spiritual connection/important person/aboriginal word reason for these names, but they never stop amusing me.

A selection of the places we'll travel through today:

* Gidginbung
* Daroobalgie
* Eumungerie
* Gilgandra
* Edgeroi
* Coonabarabran

Unfortunately we'll just miss Tooraweenah and Cookamidgera.

I love Australia!

9:30am - we are now entering the Shire of Bland.

Yahoo.

1:00pm - Dead Bird Lead Creek (near Parkes Dish).

Speaking of Parkes Dish (which Liz has been unaccountably excited about all trip - and I mean since December...) we stopped at the cafe there, and not only did they have Byron Bay Organic Coffee and Byron Bay Cookie Co. cookies, but they were playing Kate Miller-Heidke on the stereo. I think that may have been the exact moment I realised we're really going home.

5pm - can you believe someone called a town Wee Waa?

Documenting the melbourne excesses (melbourne 3)

10th October 2006.

the melb trip so far:

19th Oct - called Kelly out of the blue and asked if we could stay overnight. Gareth cooked wicked dinner - aloo gobi and caesar salad. met groovy people, drank beer, liv slept on couch, liz slept in someone else's bed (they weren't in it, luckily for liz).

20th Oct - Met up with Mel K. went to Me gig - OH MY GOD! Kickarse. like, seriously. yeah. stayed at mel and renee's place. ate breakfast at hot poppy, dinner at vietnamese restaurant in brunswick, saw lots of friends.

21st Oct - liz hung out with rick, liv hung out with mel and luke. went out with crazy daz - did the grand prix circuit. coffee at hot poppy, dinner in hardware lant (italian). drinks at croft institute, eurotrash, pony, cherry, section 8

22 Oct 2006 - liz hung wiht rick, liv went to races in puckapunyal. liz - dinner at brasserie, southbank (total bill for table $570 - 4 people, 3 courses, 3 bottles of wine, i glass desert wine each.) also gin palace. liv - stayed in puckapunyal, and went to the Seymour races. champagne, nibbles, yummy food fern cooked. bet on horses and lost. i was seriously peeved - i was so sure "beautiful tiara" would win - i would have got $500.

23 Oct 2006 - liv went for country drive (lunch at cafe in Yea). liz hung wiht rick (yum cha, sushi). both met up with mel and luke. liv cooked brown rice slice for household. liz went to dom and paul's place and had dinner and wines.

24 Oct 2006 - op-shopping wiht marlene. koko black (sundaes - mmmmmmmmmn!). drink wiht mel A. decided to stay an extra few days to see mel perform in aria comp (first prize total $35000 - go mel!)

25 Oct 2006 - liv printed photos and went on fruitless search for cool cushions for mel and renee. liz helped luke and mel wiht setting up mel and renee's loft. dinner with ming at the townie (liv had veg shepherd's pie, liz - chips)

26 Oct 2006 - Liv caught up with ex-crs workmates for morning tea in Glenroy, then liv and liz went to mancuso day spa for facials and massages. liv had reaction to the stuff in facial (not happy). white lotus for dinner (vegan restaurant) - eggplant fritters, chicken sweetcorn soup, tamarind fish, mongolian beef. all vegan of course.

27 Oct 2006 - liv chilled out during the day. liz went to architecture thing at melb uni and had free champagne and nibbles with sarah bridges. liv cooked veg soup for house. damian's birthday - went to alia in north carlton. hung with me boys, mel, luke, etc. adopted mike and darko as our honorary toy boys for the evening. liz vomited in tool box (messy). liv luckily didn't step in it when she came home. whew!

28 Oct 2006 - Ange's baby shower. awesome food! took lots of silly photos. brought leftover food home for house. liz went to dom's place. watched late show dvds.

29 Oct 2006 - luke's birthday and liz and liv's anniversary. coffee at hot poppy. liz hung with rick for the morning. townie festival with me boys and rubicon staff. ate vegie burgers/ fish and chips and watched arias.
* please note - luke and darko are very scary when they play totem tennis while drunk. very very scary.

30 Oct 2006 - (today) breakfast with charles at hot poppy. going to ming's place this afternoon for tea party.

plans: the current version - tea with dom and paul tomorrow.
wed night - see mel A perform in aria comp at hamer hall with luke and mel
leave thurs morning for the next leg of the journey towards ocean shores/ glasshouse mountains/ brisbane.

no wonder we're exhausted!

melbourne 2

28 Oct 2006 9:28pm

these times are crazy for us.

we've been in melbourne 10 days so far. it's been a ball, and we've even decided to extend our stay. it's odd though too. we've seen so many people and everyone really does appear to be keen to see us. what's happened, of course, is that we have so many people to see and things to do we're exhausting ourselves again. i think we're really making up for lost time.

i think both of us will crash a bit when we finally get the time to stop. we're both leaving good friends and men we really care about behind us.

we'll be frantically busy at least for the next week, then i start work, and liz gets to chill for a week at her parents house. well, not really chill - she'll be looking after the nursery, but in comparison to melbourne, it will be chilling.

i think for me, at the moment, staying busy and not letting myself feel too much is probably a good thing. one thing is for sure - i'm going to need a holiday to get over this holiday. what an incredible two weeks it's been so far!

details to come when i'm less tired

Melbourne 1

23 Oct 2006 12:06pm

what a crazy few days!

liz and i have both been emotionally turbulent - seeing friends we love, going to see Luke and the Me boys play (BLEW MY MIND!!!), Liz seeing Rick, going out with lots of people, seeing my friend Fern with her beautiful pregnant belly (you are truly gorgeous darling), hanging wiht Mel and Renee and staying in a loft up a gigantic ladder (which still terrifies me), getting a tour of puckapunyal military base - i'm exhausted already!

right now i'm sitting in a beautiful cafe in Yea, drinking a too-hot coffee, and chilling for a while before going back to the chaos of melbourne. my head is still in the clouds, and i'm feeling quite ungrounded, so i'm just stopping for a few minutes.

i'm not sure where my head is. i'd write about it, but that would require putting it in words, and i'm not sure if i'm ready or able to do that yet.

the wind

wrong i was.

21 October 2006 3:20pm

my head is spinning around in a kaleidoscope of colour and sound.

it's possible that what i've been searching for all these years has been right in front of my face, and i've been too afraid to open my eyes.

i've been lying here for ages, book in hand, trying to work out where to start - what to say, how much, how little, how honest - how is he going to fee reading this, which i know he will, because i'm sure he's wondering what i've written about him.

my feeling haven't had time and space to settle yet. sometimes i feel really secure, comfortable and happy. i laugh and smile more than every, i sing with a skill i don't remember having, i'm beautiful, confident, sexy.

then i feel sad, loney, confused, irritated, terrified. at times i feel nothing at all. once in a blue moon i feel like he just wants to use me, and spit me out and that he doesn't give a shit, and that he could never possible like this body, and that he's just killing time. these things are of course just throwbacks to my old negative ways of thinking, and even i can see that none of it's true, but old habits are sometimes easy to take up again, even if it's just briefly.

i respect him. we are equals. there aren't that many people i don't look up to or down on (that bloody ego thing - yes, i'm still working on it) but we are equal.

having said all this, the way my head is, i'll have changed my mind completely about it all tomorrow.

this has been a long time coming, but i'm glad. however brief this may turn out to be.

adelaide

18 October 2006 around 7pm

yet again, i'm attempting to put mini video on the computer. yes, i know, i really should have learnt by now not to take so many videos, but it's just so damn tempting! it shows so much more accurately what life is really like than just flat static photos.

actually, this time, it was liz's video of Wala.

OOOh! it worked!

just because i'm a glutton for punishment, i've started another memory card, with more videos.

well, this trip to Adelaide has certainly been eventful. working out what and how much to write is not going to be easy, so i'll start with the superficial while we're waiting for our friends to arrive.

we went a couple of days ago to see the vietnam war memorial in Adelaide at the big parade ground in the city. Grandpa sponsored a plaque in Dad's name, so there's a plaque (well, a brick) there with his name on it, so we took pics to send to dad and grandpa. it's actually quite a beautiful memorial - much more modern than the others in the same ground, but the statues on top are beautiful.

then we bought bath bombs, and went back to the holiday house and had baths with candles and wine.

just for the record, holiday houses rock@ full kitchen, washing machine, bath, fireplaces in the bedrooms (they can't be used, but they look awesome.

hmmn.. i just spelt look with 3 o's (in my journal i mean, not here on the blog, silly, don't bother to look). i'm not really paying attention to what i'm writing - my mind is on other things.

right. i shall either write mindfully or not at all.

liz and i have written about so many things - people comment that it must be weird having so many people know so much about us - for the record it's not really - live in a small town for a while and you'll get used to having everyone know everything about you. that and we have nothing to hide.

anyway, one of the things we never really write about is the men in our lives. the astute readers will have noticed the appearance of a number of males in these posts, but we've never really written much about them.

so, yeah, anyway, that's where my head is. i'm thinking about a man. actually, if i'm honest, i've been thinking about a few of them recently, but today it's all about one. it's the old it never rains but it pours thing. a comfortable steady stream would be nice, but no - apparently the universe doesn't seem to want to work like that. oh well, at least they're all seriously hot!

i'll be less cryptic when we leave Adelaide, and i know where my head is. right now my head has floated off on a cloud, which is probably a good sign i should stop writing.

Around 10pm-ish

One of the things you can most bank on in life is the predictable unreliability of musicians. before we came to adelaide i knew this was going to be a time of blowing in the wind. no pressure, no commitments, just go where the universe takes you.

some days the wind blows from the ocean, and caresses your cheek.
some days it sings as it dances through the trees
it tosses the jacarandah in a cascade of blooms
creates fleetimg moments of beauty as it carries a cobweb through a series of pirhouettes. (i think that's incorrect spelling, but don't really care - how unlike me!)

then other days it cuts like a knife through the thickest skins.
drives stinging hot dust in your face.
picks up a farmhouse and tosses it wildly, with no reference whatsoever to either property aesthetics, or appropriate access to plumbing.

sometimes it just drifts unnoticed over a wasteland.

tonight i'm not sure which way the wind is blowing - i've got a feeling it may be going around in circles.

i'm waiting (eagerly) to be proven wrong.

Beautiful men

right. well, those of you who are regular readers (and we know you're out there!) will know that it's pretty rare that we hold back on this blog. the following entries have been harder for me to write here than any others, because they're somehow more real, and more raw. even 6 weeks later, it's still raw, but i'm putting this stuff here anyway. because otherwise the blog wouldn't be complete, and i'd feel like a fraud. strangely, after everything we've written here, i feel like these are the posts that could come back and bite me on the bum. there's no rational reason for that, but the crazy fear is still there. still, we said we'd do everything we could to face our fears on this trip, right?

the uncensored (ok, not really, it's a bit cryptic, so it's a little bit censored) version of the last couple of months is as follows:

15 Oct 2006 9:54pm

Many times in the past few years I've been aware of the smell of a beautiful man on my cheek. every hug, every kiss on the cheek, leaves their mark. even if they wear the same scent, they smell different. this one smells like nothing but himself.

tonight we switched roles. in the past when we've met, we've been at gatherings where we've only spoken my language. i've always held court, as i pretty much always do. tonight, liz and i were hosts, but he held court instead. i always thought we were quite unalike, but after this evening i'm not sure. maybe our similarities are equal to our differences.

i'm waiting to see how i feel at the end of the next 4 days.

another tea party - this time at paul and dom's place. awesome scones. liz wasn't invited, hence is taking pics through the window - the voyeur. you know you can be arrested for that, right liz? 

eating crepes with marlene. we had lots of shots of me pulling silly faces this day, but i thought we'd had enough pics of me pulling silly faces for the moment 

ok, just one more snowy shot - we bought him a little xmas outfit. soooo cute! 

this is totally one of my favourite shots of this year - taken in ming's lounge in a crazy mirror - nice work liz. very nice work 

SNOWY!!!!!! 

liz and snowy. i did warn you about the snowy shots, right? 

for no apparent reason i absolutely love this pic - one of my favourites. it was taken at ming's tea party (another excellent occasion)  

the incredible number of people we managed to fit in the lounge for the arias - this is a tiny section. by the end of the night, there was absolutely no free floor space. incredibly enough, mel's chocolate cake managed to feed everyone! 

damian - this time at luke's birthday do. north melbourne townie put a festival on in luke's birthday honour (even though luke's no longer an errol st local) and then we all went to watch the arias, which were also conveniently held in luke's honour