bitter sweet

sometimes it's hard reading comments here because they're about moments so bittersweet that you don't know whether to laugh or cry.

liz and i have experienced so many amazing moments - taking credit for Australia's first soccer world cup win, and freaking ricky out. cackling in the kitchen with ange and steve while puppy sits on the corner of the couch like a cat. training the cat to attack luke whenever he is in swiping distance. standing on the top of a castle, and hugging each other. getting to go backstage at whatever bloody gig we like, just because we figure we should be able to. laughing so hard with mel k that we think we're going to pee. hearing mel a perform carmina burana - a perfect experience. knowing the boys at the townie will play led zeppelin in honour of liz every time we go there. watching liz demand to eat food from everyone else's plate - even people who aren't on our table. calling home on speaker phone, and having crazy conversations with everyone we can. laughing at myspace marriage proposals. making instant and lasting connections with amazing people like aimee. realising, without our prior knowledge, that we actually live around the corner from ming and renee, and getting to have far too many coffees and beers with them every week. freaking out at the white lotus, thinking they're serving us meat. getting dressed up with luke and mia and sitting on the floor of a school auditorium listening to mel a perform the magic flute. mel k and liv comparing the relative merits of farting, and laughing so hard liv collapses, and mel has to pat her on the shoulder, and feed her camomile tea to calm her down. what the hell did you lace that tea with, mel? going to some incredibly grand, and some amazingly awful places, and occasionally being concerned that we were going to wake in the morning covered in rashes.

i laugh as i'm writing about this stuff, but sometimes i cry when i hear other people write about them. perfect moments happen every day, which is fantastic. it also means the days pass, and old moments are gone.

i hope with the aid of this blog, they won't be forgotten, either by us, or by all the other amazing people involved. both the fantastic moments and the truly awful ones are here. the moments where we laugh so hard we pee a little, and the ones where we don't even realise we're sad until we start crying on our friend's shoulder as they hug us goodbye. the times where we think we can't cope with the chaos around us, and we get so angry with each other, and hurt, and it doesn't just go away for months. the fears about what it means to pick up again and move on.

i think four months was just too long - we got too attached to melbourne and the people here. i'm glad to move on, but scared too. going back to a small town has a lot of awesome things about it, but it also means no privacy, and people thinking they can say anything they like to your face and behind your back.

are we strong enough to deal with that again? our friends think so... i'm not so sure yet. i'm scared.